so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
