so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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