Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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