I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
