I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize