That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
