The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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