i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have aggressive nipples.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
