3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
