why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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