If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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