I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize