i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
we're so committed to being not committed
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
