just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My liver is preforming stress tests.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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