Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
