Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
