i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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