it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
