How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize