im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
