At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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