Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
