ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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