Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
