My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
God, I missed his penis.
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