I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
