I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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