Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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