So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
