I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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