he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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