I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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