I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
