I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
