I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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