I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
