Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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