So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
