Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
