the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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