Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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