Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
