He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
