STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize