Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize