Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
