I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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