thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
His hands were made for my vagina.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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