hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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