me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
