is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
