Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
