i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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