Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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