i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.