look no pants
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He better not be in your backpack
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie