Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
