i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
