This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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